Expressions of love are meaningful when spoken but are truly profound when acted upon. Engage in small acts daily to show your care.
While enjoying the afternoon yesterday, I found myself on a bench in the park when I observed an older couple parking their vehicle beneath a grand oak tree. They lowered their windows and increased the volume of some jazz tunes emanating from their car stereo. The gentleman exited the vehicle, moved to the other side, opened the door for his companion, took her hand, and they waltzed under the oak, lost in their own world. It was a remarkable scene that left an imprint on my heart.
This morning, as I began my writing, my thoughts immediately wandered back to that couple. I pondered their journey together and the wisdom they must possess about relationships. Just as I delved deeper into my thoughts, a new email from a reader named Cory appeared in my inbox. His message began with a request: “Do you have any timeless advice for nurturing our relationships?”
The coincidental timing of my thoughts and Cory’s email brought a smile to my face. In tribute to that charming elderly couple and in response to Cory’s inquiry, here are some classic habits that can revitalize our relationships: (more…)
Expressions of love are meaningful when spoken but are truly profound when acted upon. Engage in small acts daily to show your care.
While enjoying the afternoon yesterday, I found myself on a bench in the park when I observed an older couple parking their vehicle beneath a grand oak tree. They lowered their windows and increased the volume of some jazz tunes emanating from their car stereo. The gentleman exited the vehicle, moved to the other side, opened the door for his companion, took her hand, and they waltzed under the oak, lost in their own world. It was a remarkable scene that left an imprint on my heart.
This morning, as I began my writing, my thoughts immediately wandered back to that couple. I pondered their journey together and the wisdom they must possess about relationships. Just as I delved deeper into my thoughts, a new email from a reader named Cory appeared in my inbox. His message began with a request: “Do you have any timeless advice for nurturing our relationships?”
The coincidental timing of my thoughts and Cory’s email brought a smile to my face. In tribute to that charming elderly couple and in response to Cory’s inquiry, here are some classic habits that can revitalize our relationships:
1. Dedicate uninterrupted time together free from distractions.
Put away the smartphone, shut down the computer, and relish one another’s company, engaging face-to-face in a traditional manner.
There’s little joy comparable to a heartfelt conversation, genuine laughter, a leisurely stroll, a cheerful dance, or a warm embrace shared between two people who deeply care for one another.
Sometimes, the most mundane moments can become extraordinary simply by sharing them with the right individuals. Therefore, surround yourself with those people and strive to fully utilize your time together.
Don’t hesitate to create spontaneous plans. Allow your distraction-free time to be the plan itself. Maintain open lines of communication frequently, and meet up in person as much as possible—not merely out of convenience but because you recognize that each other is worth the effort.
2. Be entirely present with those around you.
One of life’s greatest joys is realizing that your presence, as well as your absence, holds significance for someone else. The only way to convey this to your loved ones is by being fully engaged with them. Your genuine, undivided attention during interactions is priceless and appreciated more than anything else. Being truly present, listening attentively without being preoccupied or anxious about the next activity, offers the ultimate compliment. It’s undoubtedly one of the most cherished gestures you can offer another.
Keep in mind that your loved ones deserve your full attention. Bestow upon them the gift of your presence today—your time, complete concentration, and compassion. These offerings are far more cherished than any material gift, as they will remain in their hearts forever. (Read “A Return to Love”.)
3. Regularly show genuine gratitude for those you love.
No matter how confident you feel about someone’s awareness of your admiration, it’s always a pleasure to receive reminders. So, if someone deserves your gratitude today, express it. Just because they are consistently reliable and always there for you does not excuse you from showing appreciation regularly. To take someone’s goodness for granted could lead you to miss the true depth of their value before they are gone.
Regrettably, it often takes devastating reminders of life’s brevity—such as the loss of a loved one—for us to recognize the importance of openly voicing our affection. Allow this lesson to resonate now: Don’t postpone expressing your appreciation for those you hold dear until it’s too late.
4. Collaborate and support each other’s growth.
No soulmate or best companion will resolve all your dilemmas. Love at first sight doesn’t endure without dedication and effort. Yet, there are individuals worth investing your energy in—not because they are flawless but because their imperfections complement yours in perfect harmony—you help each other navigate life more effectively together.
You’ll know you’ve found such a person when they inspire you to become your best self.
5. Prioritize inner beauty.
As you grow closer to someone, many of their notable physical traits fade from memory. You begin to engage with their essence, appreciate their unique scent, and value their intelligence. You begin to see the individual’s core rather than just their exterior.
This is why falling in love with mere physical attractiveness is fleeting. You may find it appealing or be captivated by it for a while, but genuine love rooted in physical looks doesn’t stand the test of time. Thus, when you truly connect with someone’s inner spirit, most physical flaws become inconsequential.
6. Value honesty.
Many prefer gentler falsehoods rather than confronting hard truths. However, it’s ultimately better to face discomfort from the truth than to find solace in a lie. Remember, lying tends to accumulate, so exercise caution…
What may start as an inconsequential, well-intentioned falsehood often spirals into a larger web of deception. While we deceive others, we frequently deceive ourselves, often to shield our fragile egos. We might even be inclined to deceive ourselves during this very read, unwilling to admit how often we evade the truth. (Read “The Four Agreements”.)
7. Apologize when necessary.
Embrace accountability for your missteps. If your actions or words have caused someone pain, promptly acknowledge your mistakes. Genuine apologies can be the glue that holds relationships together.
Ensure your apologies come from an authentic place. Speak them sincerely. Avoid apologizing if your actions won’t change; never undermine an apology with excuses. Excuses do not equate to apologies.
8. Resolve relationship conflicts together, not with outsiders.
This is straightforward but worth reiterating: Avoid airing grievances about loved ones on social media. Teens may resort to this, but for adults, the healthier response is to discuss conflicts directly with those involved when the time is right.
Moreover, relationships can be perplexing, especially from an outsider’s perspective. So don’t let external opinions dictate your relationship dynamics. Work through issues directly with the parties involved first and foremost. (Note: This is elaborated on in the Relationships chapter of “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently”.)
9. Be a source of positivity and support.
Elevate your mindset. A negative outlook is beneath you!
Your mindset shapes experiences, leading to favorable or unfavorable outcomes. Staying focused on the positive can significantly impact your life and those around you. Remember, being positive doesn’t mean ignoring negativity; it means overcoming it. There’s a distinct difference.
Encourage positive results with your thoughts, words, and actions at every opportunity. Share this mindset with those you care about and help them find their own light.
10. Exceed expectations on your commitments.
Embrace dedication. Commitment involves staying true to your word, honoring promises long after the moment they were made has passed. This is crucial for your relationships and long-term achievements in every aspect of life.
In other words, don’t merely utter promises, demonstrate them. Don’t just pledge, prove it. Go above and beyond in honoring your commitments! Provide more than what’s expected. As Anne Frank wisely stated, “No one has ever become poor by giving.” Whenever possible, take the initiative to do something lovely and unexpected for those in your life, particularly for those less likely to repay your kindness.
11. Uphold loyalty.
Support those you care about through their darkest moments—not because you wish to linger in darkness with them, but to help them find their way to the light. Additionally, stand with them during their brightest days, not to diminish their shine, but to celebrate their brilliance.
In essence, loyalty is essential. Staying true in your relationships isn’t optional; it’s a necessity. Loyalty holds immense significance for those who care about you. When someone believes in you enough to lift you up, strive to be a source of support. You may not be able to guarantee your presence for someone’s entire life, but you can genuinely support them for as long as you live.
Now it’s your turn…
Now, the floor is yours to reflect on the above relationship habits and begin integrating them into your life. Recognize that as you mature, your desires shift, becoming simpler; the truly valuable things—time, authentic connections, significant experiences, and tranquility—cannot be purchased. Aim to connect with your loved ones in a good old-fashioned way, bringing more depth and meaning into your life starting today.
Before you leave, please share your thoughts about this article with Marc and me in the comments below. Your input is invaluable. 🙂
Which of the relationship habits resonated with you the most today?
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