I have experimented with affirmations before. The self-talk in front of a mirror, the notes plastered everywhere, and the relentless repetition of phrases like “I am enough.” While I appreciate the good intentions, they never quite resonated with me in the heat of the moment.
What genuinely assists me is what I like to refer to as a “real-time reframe.”
Rather than attempting to persuade myself with a statement I don’t yet fully accept, I direct my attention to altering the thought I’m experiencing at that instant.
This approach is more about being aware of my mental direction, interrupting the negative cycle, and opting for a more constructive thought.
It’s my go-to strategy when I feel nervous before a launch, when I overanalyze a message I sent, or when I start feeling like I’m lagging behind.
This method enables me to change my emotional state within minutes instead of letting a single thought derail my entire day.
Listen to the episode:
This is the approach I take when striving to escape my racing thoughts and return to a place of steadiness.
Reflect Before Spiraling Forward
Whenever my mind begins to whirl with pessimistic thoughts or self-doubt, I take a moment to evaluate if there’s any validity to my fears.
I do this not with harshness, but with curiosity. Has something similar truly gone wrong in the past? If yes, was there a reasonable cause for concern at that time? Was I overwhelmed or attempting too much?
Occasionally, there’s a genuine source behind the worry, providing me a chance to address it more clearly.
At times, however, I realize I’ve faced similar challenges before and they turned out fine. Perhaps not ideal, but certainly sufficient to remind me that I have navigated difficulties previously and can succeed again.
The act of reflecting brings context. It diminishes the intensity of the fear and makes the current situation feel less extreme.
Separate from the Negativity
It’s remarkably easy to take a singular challenging experience and turn it into a broad narrative about myself.
One clumsy phone call and I suddenly conclude that I’m a poor communicator. A single sluggish post makes me doubt whether anything I create will ever resonate again.
This stage is about reminding myself that it’s not indicative of my worth. It’s merely a moment. A situation. A fleeting instance. I attempt to step back emotionally and gain some detachment. Sometimes, I explicitly tell myself, “This is just information,” or “This doesn’t define me.”
This practice prevents me from internalizing every occurrence and allows me to view it with greater objectivity. The outcome? I stop spiraling and regain my breath.
Identify the Falsehood and Embrace a Kinder Thought
My mind often plays a few familiar tunes during stressful times. Thoughts like, “It’s too late,” “I should have achieved more,” or “I’m not enough.”
These thoughts are sly and all too recognizable, typically surfacing when I’m tired or about to do something that feels risky.
When I recognize one, I label it. I say, “Ah, here’s the ‘you’re falling behind’ thought again.” That small act of identification helps me detach from it. I cease viewing it as an undeniable truth and start recognizing it as a recurring pattern.
From that point, I select a thought that remains truthful but is kinder. Not excessively positive, just reasonable. Something like, “I’m still learning,” or “It’s okay for this to take time.”
The objective isn’t to feel euphoric instantly. It’s to feel a bit more grounded. And it’s effective.
Why I Prefer This Over Affirmations
This method genuinely alters how I perceive the moment. Instead of getting trapped in an overthinking loop or attempting to force false positivity, I meet myself where I’m at and gently redirect my thinking.
This approach has significantly transformed my daily experience. It doesn’t eliminate doubt, but it aids me in navigating it with greater ease and much more self-compassion.
If affirmations haven’t resonated with you, perhaps giving this a try will be beneficial.